The Navy Dress

Dedicated to my mother, Joann Ellen Bourne, and her first daughter she gave for adoption

      Joann Ellen Bourne felt gleefully hopeful. The year was 1962 and Joann was  a pathologist at Strong Hospital. After a long day of looking through a microscope and eating only a  tuna sandwich from the vending machine, it was time to unwind. The kink in her neck started to relax as she entered East Avenue Lounge and saw him. She flashed a gleeful smile. This was their meeting place. Her new "him" was handsome-blonde hair and green eyes - "A perfect match for my fiery red hair and blue eyes," she thought to herself. A match - for now - should she even hope for the future? "Always leave an air of mystery about you, Joann - Don’t get over-anxious.," she scolded herself.

       He was a professional, good job, handsome…what more could she want? Especially as they sat together at a distant table sipping gin and tonic and talking about the day. Just like the candle between them, she melted. Their days turned to weeks, weeks to months.   

  As she was getting ready for yet another night on the town, Joann noticed something.  "That’s odd, my navy dress doesn’t fit," Joann sighed. It’s his favorite, espeically when I wear that pearl necklace with it. "Alabaster skin," he always says. She hurried on another outfit fitting for dinner at the Top of the World. She made a mental note to stop by Sibley’s and check outtheir skirt selection! Must be too many dinners out for this waistline! 

  In the days to follow, the truth settled on her.  She found herself pregnant.  "How could I? What was I thinking - I wasn’t - I was falling in love. Now, so I don’t ruin our reputations, I must disappear from his life - our life." 

    Thanking God for large lab coats, she perched herself on the small stool in the lab. She hurried around, hoping no one would get a closer look at her. Cloaked in shame, she stayed home with her roommate, Rita. Her apartment was her cave. She hid there while the baby hid in her womb. Now, she began to avoid her mother - easily done, given their always strained mother/daughter aganst. But, Daddy - that was another story. They saw eachother weekly. The flu, a date, working late…the excuses grew as much as her midsection.

     Her only solace was her kind OBYN at Strong. His understanding and care made her feel safe. He said he would take care of her - and the baby. Her baby……but not for long….